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Most of all, she wanted independence from her husband. But she had no one.Although the baby was with her, she noticed how alone she was. And within the void of loneliness and uncertainty the mind wanders, not forwards far enough, but backwards, as she asked herself: ‘where did it all go wrong?’She remembered her father and how he always sheltered her and her small brothers. Then she thought maybe she should return to Surat, as her five thousand dollars would go a long way there. With five thousand dollars she could buy a small house and have her son grow up on familiar earth. Instead she found herself in the middle of a swarming city with swarming people, and of all things she looked like a woman cast down and vulnerable. Nevertheless her will remained strong, and she decided with an obdurate determination to raise the child on her own.She revised what she knew about her husband. She never loved him but only tried to love him. She had clung to him not for love but for shelter, food,. “Imagine yourself sitting on this floor, feel the carpet beneath you, and below that, the hard wood floors. Slowly, you begin to sink into them, the floor beneath you is melting. Further and further you are lowered, the floor basically turning into a net that is now snapping one strand at a time. Finally, the floor breaks, and you fall into darkness. Deeper and deeper you fall, no ground beneath you but no fear in your mind, you simply fall, fall until you lose all track of time.Now…”------------------------------------------------------Victoria was hovering above the earth, naked and completely at peace, sitting in the lotus position. Above her, a diagram of the Tree of Life appeared, the size of a lake. From each Sephirot, tendrils of wood began to extend out and merge together, turning into a literal tree of truly gargantuan proportions but barren branches. Becoming as large as the state of California with the diagram glowing in the side of the trunk, the tree reached down with.
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